


In Good Hands

by NanakiBH



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Drama & Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:11:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3496325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whatever happens now, it'll all be alright. No matter how frightening the future seems, he has those who will support him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Good Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://tokyoghoulkink.dreamwidth.org/1408.html?thread=144000#cmt144000) at the tkg kink meme.

It began simply enough as a little bothersome feeling that seemed like nothing more than the beginnings of a cold. Kaneki wasn't sure if ghouls could even catch colds, but he didn't think much of it. He hoped that the unpleasant feeling would go away, and, with a bit of time, it did.

Just as he was beginning to relax, however, it returned with a vengeance. The quinx were so shocked to hear the sound of him retching in the bathroom that they all appeared in the doorway to check on him. Saiko and Mutsuki got him water and a damp cloth and Shirazu expressed his concern and asked if there were anything else they could do for him, but Urie was missing as usual.

Tsukiyama, being the newest addition to their humble chateau, was unable to do anything as the others fussed around him. Even if the others took care of everything, it comforted Kaneki to see his face there, looking at him with worry. He didn't like bothering other people, but he secretly loved it whenever Tsukiyama worried about him. It made him feel safer, knowing that there was someone who genuinely cared about him, who didn't see him as a science experiment or a wolf in sheep's clothing.

To Tsukiyama, he was just Kaneki. He wasn't Sasaki. He wasn't the person the CCG put their expectations into. Whenever he was with Tsukiyama, he was allowed to be whoever he felt like, and he was grateful for that.

Lately, though, Kaneki wondered if he were more than just himself. It seemed absurd to him, but he had noticed that Urie was avoiding him more aggressively than usual. Urie wasn't pleased when Tsukiyama started staying with them, but his attitude seemed to have taken an even sharper dive as of late. Even Tsukiyama seemed to be acting differently, but Kaneki couldn't put his finger on why. There was only one explanation he could think of, but it was one that he had already dismissed. It was impossible.

Shortly after Tsukiyama came to live with them, Kaneki noticed a change in his own body. It wasn't a gradual thing; it began suddenly and there was no way for him to stop it on his own. Causing him to act unlike himself, it made him throw himself at Tsukiyama, made him ask for things he never thought he would be capable of saying out loud without having at least a few drinks first. His body felt hot all over, and he felt a magnetic pull toward Tsukiyama. Before he knew it, they were in bed together.

He gave himself to him completely. With a primal fire in his eyes, Tsukiyama had clung to him the whole night through until they were both satisfied. That look he saw on Tsukiyama's face had frightened him a little, but Kaneki knew that the arms around him were there to protect him. With his damp, heated skin pressed against Tsukiyama's, it felt as though their bodies might melt into each other and become one.

After that night, Tsukiyama's scent was burned into his memory. Kaneki had never had a particularly strong nose, so it surprised him when he realized that he could tell precisely where Tsukiyama was in the chateau simply by lifting his nose to the air.

More and more, he found himself gravitating toward him, and it seemed the same for Tsukiyama as well. When Kaneki didn't go to him, Tsukiyama came to him instead. One night, he awoke to the rustling sound of the bedsheets, but he wasn't afraid, recognizing that now-familiar scent. He slept much easier and his nightmares even occurred less frequently when he slept within Tsukiyama's protective embrace. Following that night, Tsukiyama continued to come to sleep in his room, and Kaneki didn't have the heart or the mind to refuse him.

Before he fell asleep one night, he looked down at the hand that Tsukiyama held almost purposefully over his stomach, and he wondered if there were something else that Tsukiyama was protecting.

It couldn't have just been his imagination anymore. The others were still looking at him with worry. He hadn't thrown up again since that first time, but he occasionally felt dizzy and sick.

He did his best to put it out of his mind, and it seemed to finally quiet down.

He tried not to feel too concerned about it. He didn't want to see the doctor that the CCG provided for him, remembering how he came to have his kagune in the first place. The dizziness and the sick feeling may have mostly cleared away, but he began to feel a different kind of worry in their absence. His affliction didn't behave like a regular cold. After his other symptoms dissipated, he began to experience a new one; a hunger much greater than usual. Unfortunately, because he was only fed what the CCG gave him, there wasn't more for him to eat. He felt unsatisfied and constantly hungry.

One day, he found a moment to casually mention this increased appetite to Tsukiyama. He didn't know what he was expecting to gain by telling him, but, when Tsukiyama showed up with a neatly wrapped package of fresh meat for him, he couldn't say that he was displeased. After he was assured that the meat came from what his family already had stored at the manor, Kaneki tore into the package and ate like he'd never tasted anything more delicious. With the mess he made, he was glad that the others had been away. When he was finished with it, he still felt hungry, but at least the urge wasn't as strong as before.

But it came back. The hunger was plaguing him. Anytime Tsukiyama seemed to sense his hunger growing, he returned with something for him. It was dangerous for him to keep bringing him human meat like that, so he tried to tell him that he should stop, but that was when Tsukiyama finally said what Kaneki had suspected all along.

He said that he had to feed him. He was the one who was responsible, so he had to take care of it.

With a quivering voice, Kaneki asked him what “it” was.

The baby inside of him, of course.

Hearing him confirm his fear, Kaneki felt a strong wave of nausea, but he forced himself to hold it down, not wanting to waste the food he'd consumed. Sweat broke out all over his face and his heart pounded loud enough to make his ears ring. Tsukiyama had gently put a hand on his shoulder and guided him to sit down. Kneeling before him, he took his hands in his own and told him to breathe. Although he was stricken with such severe panic, Kaneki did find it easier to relax when he looked into Tsukiyama's calm and confident eyes.

He was going to protect him, he said. His promise to him had never changed. He was going to protect him and the child in him.

It seemed as apparent as the blue sky, but Kaneki still didn't want to believe it. Having a child while he was still in the service of the CCG... There was no overstating what an awful idea it was. There was a part of him that wanted to take his quinque and thrust it through his own stomach, just to see if there really were something inside. And if there were... If there were, maybe he would be doing it a favor by ending its life before it had a chance to begin.

The thought of bringing a new life in the same terrible world that he lived in frightened him. It made him despair. There were nights when he hid himself from Tsukiyama so that he could cry alone, overwhelmed by the weight of his situation.

But he couldn't do it. No matter how much he fantasized about it, he couldn't harm his own child. If he were allowed to blame common sense, then he had no reason to think that he would've become pregnant from that heated night with Tsukiyama.

His body was strange.

The weeks only became more stressful for him. Worrying so much about his baby made him worry that he might be worrying it to death. Stress couldn't be good for a pregnancy. He had to find some way to relax, but it was difficult when he kept thinking about what was going to happen.

 

Standing in front of the mirror one morning, he turned to the side like usual, inspecting himself, and noticed that his appearance had finally changed a little. Tsukiyama lazily got up from the bed and made his way over to him. Resting his chin on his shoulder, he put his arms around him and placed his hands over his belly. When he felt it for himself, his eyes opened with surprise. Looking at their reflection, he gave an unexpectedly bright smile.

“You're starting to show.”

“Yeah...” he said, his voice coming out as an empty whisper. Feeling the slight raise of his stomach made his heart shake. He couldn't understand how Tsukiyama could look so happy. Fed up, having reached the end of his rope, he tore his eyes away from their reflection and muttered, “What's wrong with you? How... How can you keep acting like this is something to be happy about? Don't you realize what sort of trouble I might be in once people notice? I won't be able to hide it forever.”

For a moment, Tsukiyama was quiet, and Kaneki thought that he might've finally made him understand the depth of his predicament, but then he heard his voice, just as confident as ever.

“So tell them.”

“Are you crazy-”

“If there's one thing that humans understand, it's the connection between a parent and their child. That's true, isn't it? You're part ghoul now, but you were a human. You were a human child with human parents.” Tsukiyama looked into the eyes that hesitantly looked up to meet his in the mirror. “Show them how much you care about it. I'm already certain that they won't try to kill it. Something like this is too rare. I'm sure they would be too interested in what the child would be like. Whether or not it becomes theirs depends on how strongly you cling to it.”

When he put it like that, so simply, it made Kaneki wonder how he could have ever considered the horrible things he'd thought about doing. There was something in him at the back of his memory, a distant thing he still hadn't remembered that made him feel like he needed to protect their child with all of him. Closing his eyes briefly, he saw the face of someone who may have been himself, who looked back at him with the easiest smile, untainted by the world.

A futile dream though it might've been, he still wanted to change the world. He wanted to turn it into a place where that child could smile without a fear, without a hint of sadness, strong and happy with both of his parents beside him.

“Tsukiyama-san...”

The arms around him tightened. “My love, you have nothing to be afraid of as long as I'm near. You are my treasure, and our child is a precious diamond. It might seem hard, but I believe that we're blessed. I will watch you and guard you with my life.”

Knowing that Tsukiyama was someone who could truly be held to such a promise, Kaneki turned around in his arms and held him, seeking his tight embrace. Hiding his face against Tsukiyama's chest, he let out a breath that he felt like he'd been holding for years.

“I'm not alone, am I?”

It was just a realization that suddenly jumped from his head to his lips. Feeling Tsukiyama's arms around him, breathing his scent, feeling the warmth of his promise... He felt comfortable. Finally, for the first time in as long as he could remember, he felt safe enough to relax. This was a problem that concerned him, but he wasn't alone. He didn't have to take care of it by himself.

“Of course not,” Tsukiyama said gently, “and if you tell the quinx, I'm sure that they'll want to support you as well.” He paused and thought for a second. “Maybe not Urie, though. I keep getting the feeling that he still wants to kill me.”

Kaneki moved back and looked up at him. “It's alright. I won't worry about telling him. I think he already knew.”

“You're my territory. If I catch him sniffing around you, I'll make sure to give him a few words...”

“Please don't start any fights,” Kaneki said, giving an exhausted laugh. “I want everyone to get along – even you two.”

Tsukiyama grinned. “It's no wonder Saiko calls you 'maman'.”

Narrowing his eyes, Kaneki reached up and pinched Tsukiyama's cheek. “You aren't allowed to call me that, even if I am... h-having your baby.”

The expression on Tsukiyama's face faded, then brightened exponentially. “ _Dolce!_ ”

That awful feeling was bound to return eventually, but, for at least a little longer, Kaneki wanted to ignore impending reality and live in that pleasant and happy moment with the person who promised him a happier future.


End file.
